wrestling, swords, and dart-throwing

Monday was my first day of school.

In my preparation for this semester, and even on Monday as I drove to school, I had resolved to think of myself as a missionary on my campus: sharing the love of Christ is my reason for being there, as much as to earn my degree or learn new things.

As I walked around the campus, sat in my classrooms, and met some new people, I was overwhelmed by a flood of doubts about my missionary resolution: They won't understand, won't want to hear, won't like you, if you take a stand in some class you'll say the wrong thing and do more harm than good, what if someone really does have an argument that can shatter your faith, you're just a hypocrite and tow one line at home and church because that's where it's easy, just concentrate on your classes and don't let other people sink in, you've always failed before, and on and on.

I got home feeling pummelled, physically exhausted, and convinced -- in a spirit of fear -- that my effort to be a light on campus would fail.

Later that day a friend sent me an e-mail:

I prayed for you this morning. That God would make you a light on [your] campus. That you would shine brightly and would display the loveliness of Christ to your professors and peers.

So it went something like this:

(1) I purpose to be a light on campus
(2) Someone prays for me to be a light on campus
(3) Doubt attack! Fear attack! Doubt attack! Attack! Attack!!! ATTACK!

Coincidence?

I don't think so.

Guys, we are in a serious battle. It is no small thing to want to show the love and light of Christ.

We need to stay in the Word. We need to encourage each other with the truth of Christ. We need to pray boldness -- for ourselves and for each other.

We need to remember that it's not of our own strength or our own merit that we are able to reflect the light of Christ, but only through His strength and all-sufficient merit. By the same token, ours isn't to bring about fruit but to plant the seed and trust Him to bring the increase.

And we would all do well to keep Paul's admonitions from Ephesians 6 close at hand:

Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.

Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.

Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one.

And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints— and for me, that utterance may be given to me, that I may open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains; that in it I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.