A public university is a good place to learn . . .
about people.
Today a discussion about moral standards in my Communication in Groups & Teams class (yes, that is a real class) turned into a group therapy session. A significant portion of the discussion was devoted to "what would you do if you found out your significant other was cheating."
I was boggled by the definition of "cheating."
One girl explained the discussions she and her boyfriend had had about "would I forgive you if you were cheating," then wrapped up by saying that she knew he wasn't one she would marry and that sooner or later they'll break up and she'll be really down for about a month and then get over it.
Every once in a while someone in the class would make a comment about marriage. I couldn't figure out what the definition of that was, either. As best as I could figure, marriage is a really special kind of embellishment you add to a relationship that means a lot to you -- for as long as that relationship means a lot to you. After that, get out as fast as you can.
It was sad.
Later I had another experience off campus that emphasized the kind of moral vacuum that exists when the world looks at relationships between men and women.
On one side, this is a deep tragedy -- for the men and women who make the wrong decisions, and for the children who live with the consequences.
On another side, this is an awesome opportunity -- to let our standards in our relationships (which are totally foreign to anything the world is used to) shine the light of Christ.
We can let our love as brothers and sisters shine in our faithfulness and kindness in a world where people look at others as instruments for their own pleasure.
We can let our love as children toward parents shine in our obedience and honor in a world where parents and rejected and derided.
We can let our love as future husbands and wives shine in our purity and sincerity in a world where relationships are built on lust and greed.
We can let our love as husbands and wives shine as a picture of Christ and the church in a world where marriage is "been there, done that."
We can let our love as parents shine as we raise children that are citizens of another -- that is, a heavenly -- country in a world that is self-absorbed.
We can let our love as families shine in our harmony and hospitality in a world characterized by houses full of feasting -- with strife.
Marriage is not an accident of the human condition. It's an amazing, intentional picture of Christ's love. Let's defend it, diligently prepare for it, honor it, and live it.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Thursday, February 22, 2007
what is fellowship?
At least in my experience, "fellowship" is one of those Christianized words that we use in the church without thinking about what it means.
We use it to describe our time when we get together for dinner with fellow believers. We use it to describe church socials.
But is that really what it's all about?
In The Four Loves, C.S. Lewis compares the camaraderie of friendship with the camaraderie of romantic love, saying that while lovers are content gazing on each other, the gaze of friends is fixed not on each other, but on a common interest or goal. Friendship is being delighted by the same things, being saddened by the same things, walking together toward a common end.
This picture can help us understand what real fellowship is.
Real fellowship isn't patting each other on the back or saying nice things to each other. Real fellowship is challenging each other to be more like Christ, the Author and Finisher of our faith, to Whom we both look in earnest expectation.
Real fellowship isn't covering another person's sin. Real fellowship is what Don talked about last week from Galatians 6: restoring those who are overtaken in a spirit of gentleness.
Real fellowship isn't all laughing and celebrating and having a party. Real fellowship is sharing in another's suffering, need, and pain, and offering earnest prayer through long dark nights.
Real fellowship doesn't observe a distinction between "spiritual things" and "everyday things." Real fellowship is always pointing to Christ and exchanging the wealth of His Word -- on days other than Sunday.
Real fellowship is not an end in itself. Real fellowship is only a preview of a totally Christ-centered life in Heaven.
We use it to describe our time when we get together for dinner with fellow believers. We use it to describe church socials.
But is that really what it's all about?
In The Four Loves, C.S. Lewis compares the camaraderie of friendship with the camaraderie of romantic love, saying that while lovers are content gazing on each other, the gaze of friends is fixed not on each other, but on a common interest or goal. Friendship is being delighted by the same things, being saddened by the same things, walking together toward a common end.
This picture can help us understand what real fellowship is.
Real fellowship isn't patting each other on the back or saying nice things to each other. Real fellowship is challenging each other to be more like Christ, the Author and Finisher of our faith, to Whom we both look in earnest expectation.
Real fellowship isn't covering another person's sin. Real fellowship is what Don talked about last week from Galatians 6: restoring those who are overtaken in a spirit of gentleness.
Real fellowship isn't all laughing and celebrating and having a party. Real fellowship is sharing in another's suffering, need, and pain, and offering earnest prayer through long dark nights.
Real fellowship doesn't observe a distinction between "spiritual things" and "everyday things." Real fellowship is always pointing to Christ and exchanging the wealth of His Word -- on days other than Sunday.
Real fellowship is not an end in itself. Real fellowship is only a preview of a totally Christ-centered life in Heaven.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
audience of One
Yesterday my mom got a call from one of her friends from high school -- she called to say that her daughter was going to be on last night's American Idol. So, for the first time ever, we tuned into Fox to witness the Idol phenomenon.
It was one of the saddest things I have ever seen.
There was this one guy who said he never felt accepted by his mom until he broke to the next round of the show. Eventually came the round where he didn't break, and when he called to tell her, she hung up on him.
And then there was a girl who did break, and who exulted sincerely into the camera, "God likes good people," pointing to herself.
It was a celebration of unabashed selfishness.
It was a showcase for people who have no basis for their own self-worth.
It was a throbbing tribute to the pain and futility of living for what you can earn and hold and enjoy.
I kept wanting to jump through the screen and say "It doesn't matter!!! Give up this worthless thing and find something real to laugh and cry and scream and whoop over!"
But that is where most of our world lives.
Once again I was reminded of the importance of the "song" that we sing in our lives. Who are we singing for? What are we singing about?
All of the songs I saw sung on Idol last night were about love. But over and over again the singers displayed that they knew nothing about love. Some showed that they were unloved. Many many others showed that they were unloving.
Praise be to God that He gives us the assurance that we are loved and that HE is Love. That is a song worth singing.
It was one of the saddest things I have ever seen.
There was this one guy who said he never felt accepted by his mom until he broke to the next round of the show. Eventually came the round where he didn't break, and when he called to tell her, she hung up on him.
And then there was a girl who did break, and who exulted sincerely into the camera, "God likes good people," pointing to herself.
It was a celebration of unabashed selfishness.
It was a showcase for people who have no basis for their own self-worth.
It was a throbbing tribute to the pain and futility of living for what you can earn and hold and enjoy.
I kept wanting to jump through the screen and say "It doesn't matter!!! Give up this worthless thing and find something real to laugh and cry and scream and whoop over!"
But that is where most of our world lives.
Once again I was reminded of the importance of the "song" that we sing in our lives. Who are we singing for? What are we singing about?
All of the songs I saw sung on Idol last night were about love. But over and over again the singers displayed that they knew nothing about love. Some showed that they were unloved. Many many others showed that they were unloving.
Praise be to God that He gives us the assurance that we are loved and that HE is Love. That is a song worth singing.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
because He has dealt bountifully with us
As a musician with regular musician-related tasks, it's not really possible for me to get away from music. So maybe it's not surprising that I can't imagine life without it.
But it continues to amaze me that there is so much music and singing in the Bible.
We look to music when we are full of victory and joy. We look to music when we are full of sorrow and despair.
What we sing -- and whether we sing -- is a vital part of our testimony to people we meet. We have been saved from a hopeless, desperately ugly eternal captivity to sin. Are we singing the kind of victory song that's described here in Psalm 126?
Do our laughter and our singing draw the attention of the nations?
Do you have a song?
(P.S. -- I can't help but add this. If anybody out there thinks singing is a "girly" activity, check out I Chronicles 6:33 and see what the original he-man was up to.)
But it continues to amaze me that there is so much music and singing in the Bible.
We look to music when we are full of victory and joy. We look to music when we are full of sorrow and despair.
What we sing -- and whether we sing -- is a vital part of our testimony to people we meet. We have been saved from a hopeless, desperately ugly eternal captivity to sin. Are we singing the kind of victory song that's described here in Psalm 126?
When the LORD brought back the captivity of Zion,
We were like those who dream.
Then our mouth was filled with laughter,
And our tongue with singing.
Then they said among the nations,
“The LORD has done great things for them.”
The LORD has done great things for us,
And we are glad.
Bring back our captivity, O LORD,
As the streams in the South.
Those who sow in tears
Shall reap in joy.
He who continually goes forth weeping,
Bearing seed for sowing,
Shall doubtless come again with rejoicing,
Bringing his sheaves with him.
Do our laughter and our singing draw the attention of the nations?
Do you have a song?
(P.S. -- I can't help but add this. If anybody out there thinks singing is a "girly" activity, check out I Chronicles 6:33 and see what the original he-man was up to.)
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