the waves and winds still know

Today's (yesterday's?) post is from Brendon. It has been exciting this week to compare notes with a number of people at church and see that God is teaching us each about varying aspects of trusting Him fully.

Over the past month or so, I've had a sudden powerful urge to learn.

The main problem I face is that I don't know where to start. By that, I don't mean that I don't know where to go to get an education, or where to go for any prerequisites. What I mean is that there are so many different things I want to study, that I don't know what order to pursue them in.

This is something I've often been in prayer about, asking God to reveal his plan for my life to me. I've been blessed in that whenever I get overly frustrated at work, with the feeling of time being wasted, God gives me an opportunity to do His work. Each time, it feels like a reminder, "I'm still using you here. Persevere."

God is showing me, bit by bit, that my knowledge isn't relative to His ability to use me. Although I can't stem the desire to learn (nor do I want to), I have God encouraging me to be patient. I've found trusting Him to organize my education, finances, and long term goals to be the hardest thing I've ever done. After so long of doing everything my way, to meet my ends, and by myself, relinquishing control is tough.

It feels like God is calling me to walk on water with Him, as Jesus did to Peter in Matt. 14:29. But like Peter, I constantly look at the wind and the waves, lose faith, and begin to drown. What a gracious God, that every time I cry out "Lord, save me!", He stretches out His hand like Jesus did for Peter, and pulls me from the waters.

Verses 32-33 say, "When they got into the boat, the wind stopped. And those who were in the boat worshipped Him, saying, "You are certainly God's Son!"

The boat and the worshipping at the end of the trial are a strong reminder of what is to come. A reminder of why God asks me to persevere.

Because one day, the wind will stop and I'll be the one getting into the boat. One day, I'll be the one who gets to worship at the feet of my saviour. Until then, I'll have to rely on God's love to keep me from the wind and the waves.